What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize