Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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