I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
