Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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