They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have already put on my inside pants.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
