all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
