did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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