I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
