Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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