For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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