There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
