i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize