apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Terrible idea I love it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
