I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
