your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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