Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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