GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
