"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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