Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
