I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.