so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend