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• (904): View more from Florida

  I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

  (347): View more from New York

  Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

  (802): View more from Vermont

  do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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• (779): View more from Illinois

  I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.

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