you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
