So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye