She announced her abortion via fbk
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue