What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island