Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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