is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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