Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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