she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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