You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
