You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
