he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
