I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
