Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
