Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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