I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
