He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
