I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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