Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
