thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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