"it" just moved
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
tell me about the fingering
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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