I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
