I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
