Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize