i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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