those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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