Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
