i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
