It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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