You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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