I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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