He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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