When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
