If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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