her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
