I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
