My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
