I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
