After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize