Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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