yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
