no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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