Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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