hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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