Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
