I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
