So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
