so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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