I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
