before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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