if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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