if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
