we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
