I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
